Well I called that

Naturally immediately after ordering my Alternate Captain Cammelleri jersey, he's not given an A.

Awesome

Better late than never.

Some news that's causing so much buzz that I'd lose cred for not commenting

1: Sergei Kostitsyn has DEMANDED A TRADE! Considering he has no ability to jump ship to the KHL. I really can't see any team picking up an uppity Belorussian with severe entitlement issues. I wonder if we do trade Sergei, if he'll take it out on an linesman.

The real threat here though, is it effecting his brother any more than the Montreal fanbase attacking him. Andrei is actually a good player, despite what others would have you believe, and it would suck to see him paralyzed by his brother.

2: We won't have the captain named in the immediate future. I've used this as an opportunity to buy a Cammelleri jersey with an A on it. Now that this information is public I'm sure Gainey will be rushing to sew a C onto Camm's jersey.

In April you will say "Woa that Torontonian fuckin' called it!"

So, here's what I think will happen by the end of the year with our new aquisitions, solid numbers this time

Gomez will have 65 points. They will be profoundly helpful, high for the team, and will get him crucified by the media.

Gionta will have 25 goals, all either on breakaways or from in rediculously close. He will be loved.

Cammalleri will be better than Phil Kessel and will light the lamp 35 times this season. He will be one half of the only competent aspect of our powerplay

Spacek will be the other half and will have high jersey sales because he has a single digit number, has never scored on the Montreal net while playing for them, and isn't a relative of Barney the dinosaur.

Moen will make Gorges Laraque being waived or bought out less painful.

Gll will be the anti-Jason Blake. By that I mean he will never go past the defensive blue line, will be responsible in his own end, and never shoot the puck all while sporting a killer tan.

Sanford will be fighting Halak to see who can get a second round pick at the deadline or leading the Hamilton Bulldogs to victory.

Mara will have a pretty cool beard and doesn't afraid of anything. Expect him to be invisible, the way a good D-Man should be.. except his plus minus stat will suggest he needs to actually get better at that.

Wake me up when September ends

A few thoughts as Theo Fleury entertains multiple job offers from teams less likely to respect him than his Calgary fanbase, and I drown myself for using a Green Day song as a blog title.


Oft-injured and now vegan Gorges Laraque is now the Habs rep in the NHLPA, succeeding Mike "I Got the Brains of a Dinosaur Too" Komisarek. He plans to defend the wages of his coworkers, and tearing the face off of anyone who offers him a cheeseburger. This is great news for anyone scared of any NHLPA meetings passing motions like this


I think a good question to raise before the season starts is who's the winner in the Kessel sweeps, Toronto or... Montreal.
Simply put, Toronto's need for Kessel is predicated entirely on Toronto being unable to sign a 35+ goal scorer in the free agency period. As much as Burke's trip to Sweden was almost certainly not just to rouse the Monster, Cammelleri was likely a second pick behind the untampered twins still playing for the Canucks. Because of this there's a little bit of subtext between the two teams that isn't really apparent. Did we beat Toronto concisely, stealing one of their home-town boys, or did we save them from some short dude, allowing them to bid their future on Phil "Totally not the next Dany Heatley in terms of Attitude Problems" Kessel. Because of this, and because I pretend to occasionally have journalistic integrity, I'll be comparing the two often this season; both every few weeks to see how their doing, and more specifically I'll be comparing the two when they face each other to see how confrontation goes.
... I have a sinking feeling Cammelleri is going to perform better than Kessel will on Oct 1.


The pre-season is over for Montreal, which means we can get back to figuring out who our captain will be; I'm waiting intently as I don't want to get the letter wrong when I buy a jersey this season. Despite my scared reaction to one of our losses, we played pretty good, though special teams need some work. Training camp won't feature Sergei Kostitsyn, but that's okay as last season he proved all he was good for was irritating Mikhail Grabovski, which while admirable, I'd rather it be done by someone who can actually inflict pain upon him.

Repeat after me; it's only the pre-season

We've seen all three faces of the Canadiens now.
Their first game was defensively minded, offensively talented, and netted us a win, with Carey Price doing his job.

The second featured our defense not focusing enough but our talent preserving a win.

The third was reminiscent of the last two years when occasionally we just forget to skate defensively.


I guess the priority here is to stay calm. Even at our worst there was silver lining, Spacek got a goal, and there is certainly some talent buried there.

I'll be in the corner my gin. Lots of gin.

But as I drink, at least i know that only half of our team was on the ice, and Martin still has a chance to beat some life into the team if this happens again.

The Winners of the Kessel Deal

The real winners of the Kessel trade are Montreal, Ottawa, and Buffalo.
Boston loses a 20 goal scorer for prospects in some of the weakest drafts since the mid-90s, Toronto gains a player who thrived next to a great set-up man... something the Leafs don't have.

There's always Jason Allison?



I didn't watch the pre-season game last night as I was too busy pretending my employment is relevant nor do I actually get RDS, but it's good to see Gionta producing. Apparently he worked well with Pleks too. Good to know the habs can make us even more anxious for Oct 1 to roll around

Something about a rivalry

So as Brian Burke decides mortaging two first rounders is apparently worth a sixty point player... when playing next to the number one setup guy in the league, it's effectively hockey time.

Last night's game resembled a PR stunt for Bob Gainey; his new pickups got points, Carey Price looked good, and Curtis Sanford looked like a sieve showing why we can't trade Halak. At time of writing we're losing to the Senators so maybe this propaganda is illsuited... except that 2/3s of the Big Three and Price are not dressed.


Back on topic of Sir Truculent, one thing I'm looking for this season, even more than a post-season position or the competition between Pascal Leclaire and Marian Gaborik on who can play the most games, is a hopeful revival of the habs / leafs rivalry. Sure roughing up Grabo was fun and all, especially when he decides to retaliate against his fierce opponent, the NHL linesman, but really this year I think will be the most exciting series between the two teams. And lets face it, if we're not fighting, the Leafs need to pretend the Battle of Ontario has relevance, and no one wants that.

So here's why the Leafs / Habs rivalry may actually pick up again this year

Size vs Skill: While the Habs aren't nearly as small as we'd like every other team in the league to pretend, we very much are a quick, agile team, next to the pugnastic assault of the Leafs. Our speedy forwards dancing around theirs only to be then rocked by three checking lines will be fun as hell to watch, and is a legitimately different dynamic.

We both actually have players that can fight: Laraque being the de-facto heavyweight is standard by now, but adding Travis Moen is useful if BGL's crippling vegetarianism or back problems stop him from dropping the gloves against Colton Orr, as well as deflecting fists from Grabovski away from the officiating staff. If that fails, at least we can dazzle them with Mara's beard?

Burke and Gainey's UFA pissing contest: Didn't the entire month of July feel like Burke and Gainey moving to grab attention? Be it Burke's microphone magnetism or Gainey's "he seriously signed gionta?" moves, it seemed like the entire off-season was them changing their dynamic and making people think "Those guys are going to suck". Ignoring the negative reaction to team changes depending on where you live, it's kept both the Leafs and the Habs in the limelight all summer, with The Big Three drama, Komisarek deciding one Belarussian mobster teammate was enough, Moen, Mara, and Gill crouching to get in team pictures with Cammalleri and Gionta, and this whole Kessel traded for the Leafs foreseeable future drama, these two teams have not faded. Means that opening night they both get to strut so much more than everyone else.

Komisarek is a backstabbing dick with no tact, who's mouth emits a constant array of untrustworthy bile: Also bears shit in the woods

Montreal's best french player can actually take the body: Though Guilliame is also likely Montreal's ONLY french player, I'm sure this matters when he erases whatever AHL callup winds up in the neutral zone with his head down.

They'll both be fighting for second in the division: Ottawa's yo-yoing positioning notwithstanding, their division is tight, and that means all six meetings actually matter for once, instead of being a curbstomp battle by the conference leader and everyone else middle of the pack, the rest of the conference is likely going to be deflecting much of eastern Canada from the playoffs, making every loss to a divisional rival that much more frustrating... and more fun to watch




We'll find out Oct 1


... Oh and good for theo fleury on the shootout winner. I hate to admit it but that may be his last big moment in the NHL and at least it was in front of thousands of fans who love him.

Less than a month until I run out of excuses for not updating

Well, I'm sure all six of my loyal readers are as let down as Brian Gionta learning he couldn't ride the rollercoasters when the carnival is in town, but I'm getting ready to buckle down and write blogs with actual content and not just jokes gleaned from hockeybuzz comments and DownGoesBrown articles.


I'm not well-connected enough to have the scoop on prospect events and training camp, I'll leave that for people who are actually connected, have real contacts, or pretend to and ask for people to give them money to avoid autoplay videos. That said, we're less than a month away from the season so it's time to see how the conference may play out.

I won't give a seeded rank, I'll just say whether a team will likely be in the postseason or not.

Boston - Boston had an outstanding run last year! They managed to make both Tim Thomas and Paul Maurice look good in one season, which is an outstanding goal. I think though, they'll do what Montreal did last season and drop from first to middle of the pack. Their competition is tougher, their backup is less solid, it's unlikely they'll still have Kessel, they're broke, and Milan Lucic may get serious arm strain after six more thrashings of Mike Komisarek. Expect them middle of the post-season pack. Which, by the way, is where Montreal will be. Here we go again.


Washington - Doing all they can to prove you can win without ever actually using a goaltender, expect Washington to be just as strong as last year. Jose Theodore suffered a terrible loss which will likely effect his playing time. Expect Washington to do better than last season.


New Jersey - Their talented goaltender is aging, their offense that wasnt there is now.. less there.. their coach is more defensive without a whole lot of real defensive tract. Expect them to fall faster than Marty Turco after making a dramatic save.


Pittsburg - They still have Crosby and Malkin. They have less defensemen. Expect them to either finish embarassingly out of the playoffs as it seemed last season and to do their best Carolina Hurricanes impression, or to shock no one and still be a contender.


Philidelphia - If Chelios doesn't resign anywhere, these guys will likely be where I direct aging-defensemen jokes all season. That said it's not as if they've really changed more than that except for adding a goalie with a suspiciously runny nose. Will make the playoffs for sure.


Carolina - Paul Maurice will remember he's actually a bad coach, Cam Ward will realize again he's not good enough to hold a lackluster team afloat. Martin Broduer will cry.


New York Rangers - They lost a playmaking centre and added two wingers; one of which couldn't score on a shootout with an empty net the other is professionally imitating Samuel L Jackson from the movie Unbreakable. Don't expect a long playoff run.


Montreal - Our forwards can get points but can't get on rides at an amusment park. Our defense is tall and slow. Plan the parade. We'll make the post-season in the middle of the pack


Florida - Florida gave up a good D-man for an average one and a good goalie for nothing. Which is exactly what they can expect from this season outside of a high draft pick.


Ottawa - Currently employing two wingers who'd rather be playing elsewhere (thanks for the shout-out by the way, Alex), they nonetheless have at least three players who can light the lamp, and a goaltender who is solid when he's not hanging out with Marian Gaborik and Rick Dipietro in a hospital ward. I honestly can't predict how they'll do considering how different their results with the same group of players are.


Toronto - Proud employer of half the defensemen in the conference, Toronto will be a pain in the ass to face assuming you're a team without a goalie. Look out Washington! Expect them to injure the rest of the division, helpng every other team make the playoffs.


Atlanta - Now with the more threatening additions of Pavel Kubina and Nik Antropov, Atlanta looks to for the first time in recent memory, finish tenth overall.


Tampa Bay - Improved all around, but still have too many question marks for me to assess or come up with something witty about. How is Tanguay making less than Plekanec/


Kansas New York Islanders - Have a star of the future and more backup goalies than anyone should rightly need. Expect them to finish 14th overall to find a winger for Tavares